In the bank, paying in some cheques…
Little M: Mum, how long until we go home? *does little jig*
Me: Do you need the toilet
Little M: No.
Me: Oh. ok.
Little M: Mum, I need to go to the toilet.
Me: I don’t know where there is one near here. Can you wait until we get home?
Little M: *panic face*
Me: *panic face*
Bank Lady: There’s one in Mark’s just next door.
Me: GOOD NEWS! Little M, you just need to cross your legs until we’re done here and then we can get you to the toilet.
Little M: But mum? How will I walk?
Bank Lady: *SNORT*
Big M: Mummy, what’s your favourite fruit?
Me: Hmmmm, I think it must be pineapple.
Little M: Mine’s cake.
Reading Matilda at bedtime…
Little M: Mummy, if Matilda’s the daughter, what’s her brother?
Me: He’s the son. You are my daughter.
Big M: And I am!
Me: Yes. And if you were a boy you’d be my son.
Little M: I don’t want to be your son because then I’d have to have a willy.