Big M: I’m so excited about getting a dog.
Me: Me too.
Big M: A dog is a child’s best friend.
Me: I hope so. They do say that dogs are man’s best friend.
Big M: But we’re not men Mummy!
Me: No, but it’s man as in people not man as in men.
Big M: But it’s a good thing to remind Daddy.
The other day, when I posted Little M’s birthday interview on twitter with the title Five, this was the response I got from Gemma:
Well funny you should mention that Gemma…
No, I am NOT pregnant.
I repeat, we are NOT having another baby.
At least not a human one.
Mum always said that the time when you would naturally be having another baby is a dangerous time. When my brother was about three, she came home with a kitten, much to my dad’s disgust. I have wanted a puppy for a while, and I think Mr TOPP was kind of worried that he would come home from Italy to find one already moved in.
There was no puppy, but he has agreed that there can be.
In August we will be welcoming home our fur baby, and thereby becoming a party of five.
We are currently in negotiations about his name. I have the baby dictionary out, and suggestions are being made left right and centre.
I’ve never been much of a reader. I mean, I enjoy reading, it just takes me a long time to find a book I really want to read. In a bid to get myself to read more, I bought myself a kindle last year. One of the first books I downloaded was by my good twitter friend and online drinking buddy, Aimee Horton.
Here’s the blurb:
Meet Dottie Harris. Dottie spent her late 20s working her way up the career ladder, but things are about to change. In this modern-day diary, Dottie, after announcing her pregnancy, turns to social networking to build a new social life. She quickly begins to rely on it—along with gin—as a way to reach out and remind herself of the funny side of the frustrations of motherhood.
I recognised Dottie instantly. The sleepless nights, the baby sick, the trying-to-deal-with-small-children-while-slightly-hungover. The book is written entirely in Facebook status updates, which at first I thought might get annoying. But they don’t. In fact they make the book very quick, easy and fun to read. I laughed out loud, I tutted, I nodded as I read. I’m pretty certain I have posted at least 75% of Dotties’s statuses in not so many words over the years.
If you are looking for a quick, fun read then I can highly recommend this debut novella from Aimee.
And exciting news people! Survival of the Ginnest has just been published by Velvet Morning Press and you can now buy it in actual book form from . Whoop! Head over here to purchase your very own copy. You can find out more about Aimee, and up-coming Dottie news here.
Disclaimer: Aimee sent me a free copy of Survival of The Ginnest to read for the purposes of this review. I already had it, but I thought you should know that…
Me: It’s nearly time for us to go home to bed.
J (my nephew): It’s not even dark yet.
Me: That is true, the sun is still up but it’s time for me to take the Ms back to go to bed.
J: But it’s not even dark blue!
4.45am, Bank Holiday Monday
Little M: Mum, is it time to put the TV on yet?
5.23am, Bank Holiday Monday
Little M: Mum, is it time to put the TV on now?
6.02am, Bank Holiday Monday
Little M: Mum, is it time to put the TV on now?
Me: NO! And if you ask me again there will be no TV all day.
7.04am, Bank Holiday Monday
Little M: *whispers* Big M! You ask Mummy if we can watch TV yet.
Little M: Guess what? Nathaniel does this *puts hand under armpit and pumps other arm* and it makes FARTING noises!!!!!
Big M: What?!! How? *tries it*
Both Ms try vigourously with no success.
Big M: Can you do it mummy?
Me: No. And it’s one of my big life regrets. I think daddy can do it though. You’ll have to ask him how to do it when he comes home.
My brother phones for a chat.
Me: So, I have a very important question from the Ms Uncle T.
Uncle T: Ok, shoot.
Me: Can you make farting noises with your armpit?
Uncle T: I don’t know. Let me try. Ummm…. No.
Me: Oh. *sigh* Never mind. We’ll just have to wait for Daddy to come home.
Uncle T: I am SO glad you’re getting some adult company this weekend.
Black eyes sustained by M’s: 1
Bump forms received from school: 1 (see above)
Shelving units to fall off the wall: 1
M’s underneath falling shelf unit: 1
Broken limbs: 0
Things I needed to achieve this week at work: 7,843
Things I actually achieved this week at work: 4
Number of times I cried: 3
Swear words muttered under breath: 1,673,289
Swear words said out loud in boss’s office: 5
Bottles of wine drunk: 2
Little M: Mum, can you check the weather and see how much greeze it’s going to be tomorrow?
Big M: I am seven and one sixth. I am so grown up.
In the bank, paying in some cheques…
Little M: Mum, how long until we go home? *does little jig*
Me: Do you need the toilet
Little M: No.
Me: Oh. ok.
Little M: Mum, I need to go to the toilet.
Me: I don’t know where there is one near here. Can you wait until we get home?
Little M: *panic face*
Me: *panic face*
Bank Lady: There’s one in Mark’s just next door.
Me: GOOD NEWS! Little M, you just need to cross your legs until we’re done here and then we can get you to the toilet.
Little M: But mum? How will I walk?
Bank Lady: *SNORT*
Big M: Mummy, what’s your favourite fruit?
Me: Hmmmm, I think it must be pineapple.
Little M: Mine’s cake.
Reading Matilda at bedtime…
Little M: Mummy, if Matilda’s the daughter, what’s her brother?
Me: He’s the son. You are my daughter.
Big M: And I am!
Me: Yes. And if you were a boy you’d be my son.
Little M: I don’t want to be your son because then I’d have to have a willy.
As if going back to school isn’t hard enough, today is also the two year anniversary of my mum‘s death.
Two years ago the whole world changed.
Two years ago time stood still as we were willing her to let go, yet not wanting her to go at all.
Two years hasn’t lessened the pain.
Two years hasn’t closed that massive Mum shaped hole in our lives.
I guess no amount of time ever will.
Two years or two hundred years won’t ever change the fact that I miss my mum.
Big M: So, apparently Jesus died on the cross to rid the world of all The Sims.
Me: Do you want a hot cross bun?
Little M: Yes please. The cross is on there so that we remember Jesus. And at the end of the story there is Jesus and dancing bunnies.
Big M: On Easter Sunday Jesus went to heaven.
Little M: NO HE DIDN’T! He went to Devon.
Little M: I don’t know any planets.
Me: Yes you do. Have a think.
Little M: Jupiter?
Little M: Saturn?
Little M: Australia?
Me: No, that’s a country. What planet do we live on?
Little M: Birmingham.