Bank Holiday Monday, 6am Heard through baby monitor Door opens, thud thud thud. Door opens. Big M: Wake up Little M! How did you sleep in your big girl’s bed? Little M: Zzzzzzzznnnnnnng….. Me: noooooooooooooooo! ******* Sorting washing Little M: My top. My ‘jama. Daddy top. Big M stirt. My fest. My top. Mummy ‘jama.

Tuesday, 3am Little M: Muhmeeee! Muhmeee! MUHMEEEEE! Me: Nggggggggggg Mr TOPP: Nggggggggg Tuesday, 3.24 am Little M: Muhmeeee! Muhmeee! MUHMEEEEE! Me: Nggggggggggg Mr TOPP: Nggggggggg Tuesday, 4.10am Little M: Muhmeeee! Muhmeee! MUHMEEEEE! Me: Nggggggggggg Mr TOPP: Nggggggggg Tuesday, 4.37am Little M: Muhmeeee! Muhmeee! MUHMEEEEE! Me: Nggggggggggg Mr TOPP: Nggggggggg Tuesday 5.16am Little M: Muhmeeee! Muhmeee! MUHMEEEEE! Me: Nggggggggggg Mr [...]

SInce we had Big M nearly four where the hell did the time go? years ago, I have wanted to make a reusable advent calendar that can become part of our family Christmas tradition. I wanted to make one so much I even put it on my Day Zero list. See, it’s there at number [...]

Little M: Mama! Mama! Me: Mr TOPP! Mr TOPP! She says Mama! *sniff* ******** Mr TOPP: Tomorrow I am going away to a place called Stockholm in Sweden. Big M: You’re going to Sweetland? ******* 9pm (through baby monitor) Little M: Mama! Mama! Uh oh! Me: Awww. 9.30pm Little M: Mama! Mama! Uh oh! Me: [...]

Dear Bed, Remember when I could sleep in you uninterrupted for a whole night? No? Me neither. I miss you. tiddlyompompozzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ******** Dear Norks, Remember when you were actually there? *sigh* I really appreciate all your hard work over the last few years, but you seem to have taken it hard. I hope you recover [...]

Dear Little M, You managed perfectly well for a whole year without any teeth. Even when all your friends started getting theirs you weren’t bothered and just carried on flashing your (gorgeous) gummy smile to anyone you met. When you turned one you obviously felt the need to change that, and quite honestly I don’t [...]

Dear Pupils, I know the songs we have chosen for this years end of year concert have quite a lot of words. I also know that it is hard for you to fit all the words in. But please please PLEASE keep trying. You’re so nearly there. Altogether now… Miss Tiddlyompompom ******** Dear The M’s [...]

Or, My Week In Numbers. hours spent in car on Bank Holiday Saturday: 7 hours same journey takes on a regular Saturday: 3 hours spent in hairdressers: 2 grey hairs now visible on my head: 0 cleaners appointed: 1 tubes of pringles purchased: 5 tubes of pringles consumed: 2 days on my own: 3 wake [...]

I had so many grand plans for this week’s gallery theme. I really really did. But then last night happened. Little M was up from 12.30 unti 3am. And not just Up, but Shouty Up. Gah. In the end I took her downstairs and we discussed the finer points of soft furnishings, much to the [...]

Last week, for one day at least, the sun came out. And it was warm. I almost considered taking my coat off and walking around in just my t-shirt. I KNOW! I am ker-ay-zee. I was also carrying a baby in a sling which may or may not have contributed to my feeling warm. And [...]